ALIYAH AND SAMINA

Samina: Asalaam alaikum sister. I haven’t seen you in time.

Aliyah: You’ll never guess who just asked me out!!!

Samina: Who?

Aliyah: Abz baby!!!

Samina: Abdul? The one who looks like Sonic the Hedgehog? Why you messing around with that good- for- nothing unemployed dosser. All he does is drive round in this area playing the same track over and over again.

Aliyah: What-ever! You’re just jealous innit. I’m meeting him in ‘Spice Hut’ tonight so I need you to do me a favour. I’ve told my old man that I’m at your yard tonight, so if he bells ya just say that I’m with you yeh.

Samina: Sorry sis, there’s no way I can get involved in something like that.

Aliyah: Why? What’s your problem girl? You know I’d do the same thing for you - any time you wanna link up a mullah – or whatever it is that you’re into. I’d cover up for ya.

Samina: If I covered up for you, I’d be sinning too. And dating is strictly FORBIDDEN in Islam. There are lots of verses in the Qur’an that talk about this.

Aliyah:Nah, you don’t understand. My baby is different innit. We went to get some munch once from the chicken shop and he let me share his chicken wings and he gave me a twos on his cigarette after.  He also thinks I’m a boff. That’s why he makes me do his homework. He is SO romantic too, he makes me top up his phone every week so that he can speak to me every night. I know he’s the one I’m gonna marry.

Samina: And what if you don’t marry him? God Forbid, say you both died in a car accident – which ain’t that unlikely given the way the boy drives – and you were both standing in front of Allah(swt) on the Day of Judgment. Do you really believe that Allah(swt) would accept the excuse that “you were gonna marry but you died before you could do that?”

Aliyah: Why you gotta be so friggin’ negative for? I’m way too young and buff to die innit. I AM gonna marry him. We’ll have beautiful kids, he’s gonna buy me bare bling, we’ll live in a massive house none of that council crap, my wardrobe will be full of designer garms... we’ll be the next Posh n Becks trust me – everyone will be so jealous of us!!

Samina: People die at all ages. It ain’t just old people who die. Don’t assume that you’re gonna live till the old age of 80. Death can come knocking on your door any time .The Qur’an says ‘Wherever you are, death will find you out, even if you are in towers built up strong and high!’ (4:78). And how exactly is your unemployed boyfriend who only passed 2 GCSE’s in Bengali and P.E. gonna fund your extravagant lifestyle? How do you even know that he’s gonna stick around and not dump you?

Aliyah: Coz he loves me innit!

Samina: Look Sis, if he REALLY loved you, he’d respect you. He wouldn’t meet you on the sly. The first thing he’d do is knock on your door and ask for your hand in marriage. If he’s always refusing or making lame excuses then you should know that he doesn’t give a damn about you and only considers you a timepass. You’re worth a lot more than that, so don’t allow yourself to be messed about like that. Don’t ruin your rep in society over a dosser.

Aliyah: Yeh, I get ya. When I see Abz tonight I’ll force him to come around this weekend and speak to my old man. If he don’t come, he’s well DUMPED!

Samina: Also Sis, people lose all respect for girls and guys who’re involved in the dating game. Everyone talks about such people.

Aliyah: That just reminded me. You need to help me smash the windows of this silly old cow who lives at number 25. That old witch G’d me up to my mum and told her that she saw me flirting with boys outside the library. Mum whipped me on my bum with her sinla cos of her…dozy cow, why can’t she look at her own mingin’ daughters. I saw the middle one in town last week, flirting with some gangster wannabes  –WITHOUT her hijaab …I’m gonna spit in her tea next time she comes to my house.

Samina: Why you stressing for? It’s your own fault. If you weren’t flirting with guys in the first place none of this would’ve happened. Next time you decide to flirt with the local gangster wannabes then go somewhere that you know your dad, the local Imam and that big mouth aunty down the road won’t see you, always remember Allah(swt) is ALWAYS watching you. There is no place on Earth where you can go where you won’t get clocked by Allah(swt).

Aliyah: Nah, she’s just a dozy cow who has nothing better to do than chat crap about other peeps daughters. She’s just jealous that I’m so beautiful and she has hairy moles all over her mingin’ face, and a big fat…

Samina: Oi sshh. How comes no one ever talks about me?

Aliyah: Probably coz you know of some dodgy, secret, undercover alleyway that you ain’t told me about…hahaha

Samina: You know why. It’s coz I don’t do dodgy stuff in private that I wish to hide from others. If I did, I’d have people talking about me too.

Aliyah: Forget about the lady from number 25 for a moment and check out that guy across the street... don’t make it obvious…but he looks exactly like Jay Sean innit? Don’t you wish you had a man just as fit as him?

Samina: Astagfirullah!! What you on?!

Aliyah:Chill. Don’t get your Hijaab in a twist. Don’t you swing that way? I’m only looking. Don’t tell me looking is haraam too?

Samina: ‘Just looking’ ain’t a minor thing. It’s a sin and ALL sins bring about the punishment of Allah. The Holy Prophet (PBUH) said: “The adultery of the eyes is looking (at [that] which is not allowed)…” (Bukhari, Muslim).

Aliyah: Easy… I didn’t know that. But guys are always checking me out. So are they sinning 24/7 too?

Samina: How comes guys don’t check me out?

Aliyah: Well maybe if you made an effort every now and again…let your hair down, sorted out your nails, sorted out them gorilla eyebrows of yours…guys would check you out too innit…hahaha

Samina: You know why guys don’t check me out. It’s coz I don’t dress like you. My clothes are always loose and my hair is always covered. People know that I’m a Muslim so they don’t even go there…but with you, how do I even know that you’re a Muslim? You could be a Sikh or Hindu girl…

Aliyah: You tryin’ to say that I look like a Hindu? I don’t worship bare Gods….

Samina: No, I’m trying to say that as a Muslim your identity is important. When you cover up, people know that you’re a Muslim without even having to ask you. Guys stop flirting with you and actually listen to what you have to say. They begin to take you seriously and you won’t have to put up with their hands on your waist or shoulders coz they’ll have bare respect for you.

Aliyah: I can’t help it if I’m so fit! I don’t walk around with a massive sign on my backside that tells guys to bog at me do I?

Samina: It’s irrelevant whether or not you’re a decent girl. Most people judge others based on their appearance, so do you really want to be judged on your size, shape and beauty? Guys will not wake up one day and have a new sexual orientation. How you dress can either put off or encourage unwanted attention from guys. So why play the game?

Aliyah: OK I get you now … I really respect you and that. But I ain’t really into this holy moly malarkey. It’s coz of Islam that Sheila, who used to date some fit white man, was forced into marriage to some stupid farm boy from a village back home. He had no teeth and was always spitting and burping in public. Sick man. And then there was Yasmin, you know the one who used to take her scarf off at the top of the road. She was forced to marry some asylum seeker who was hairier than a gorilla, didn’t know what the hell deodorant was and needs Pedegree breath buster…

Samina: OK I get the picture … I know where you’re coming from but you’re mixing up Islam with culture. In our religion forced marriages are strictly against Islam. The issue of forced marriages is not one that is limited to only Muslims, but Hindus, Sikhs and other religions also acknowledge it as a problem. If a woman or a man were forced into marriage then the marriage would not be valid and would therefore need to be cancelled.

Aliyah: I didn’t know that. Wait till I tell my mum, she can’t get off my case about my mingin’ cousin from back home. Like I’d marry someone who wasn’t as fit as Jay Sean. As if…I’m too good for him. I’m pretty enough to become Britain’s Next Top Model, whilst he’s so fat he could cover up the hole in the ozone layer. He’s so ugly that…

Samina: Anyway…hows your mum and dad? What your brothers doing nowadays?

Aliyah: Mum and dad are cool. I hate my brothers, they get away with everything. So how comes yeah, the guys are all allowed to go to uni, but everyone kicks up a fuss when a girl wants to go.

Samina: I really don't know because that's not what Islam teaches. Both men and women are equally encouraged to seek knowledge. In fact, look at the example of Aisha...

Aliyah: Which one? There are bare Aisha's. That saddo on my street or the one going out with Hussain? I'm telling you, that guy is way too fit for her. I mean have you seen that girl's tash? Someone give her a piece of string please!!

Samina: Erm... I'm talking about Hadrat Aisha (r.a), one of the wives of the Prophet (PBUH). She was one of the greatest scholars of Islam AND she used to teach men.

Aliyah: You serious?

Samina: I'm serious Sis. You're confusing culture with Islam.

Aliyah: OK, I get that, but what's the point of a good education if you ain't allowed to work? I know bare gals who are qualified doctors and lawyers but ever since they got married all they do is stuff their face all day long and watch B4U.

Samina: See, there you go again. Where in Islam does it say women aren't allowed to work? A woman in Islam has every right to work and earn her own money. In fact, for the benefit of our Muslim community women are encouraged to work. We are in real need of more Muslim lawyers, journalists, MPs, doctors... I'm sure a lot of us Muslim sisters would feel more comfortable going to see a Muslim female doctor, than some male doctor who doesn't understand us.

Aliyah: I don't know, not all doctors are bald and Indian. Some of them doctors off that Holby City are quite fit you know. Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about, I can tell by your face you do, hahaha. You're just makin' all this up now ain't ya?

Samina: Hadrat Khadija (ra) was a business woman, Hadrat Aisha (ra) was a top scholar in fact Nusaybah (ra) even fought on the battle field and women used to nurse the injured in the time of the Prophet (PBUH). If you don't believe me read up on it yourself. It's all about seeking knowledge, eh?

Aliyah: Girl, don't tryna be clever ok. Basically you're saying is I don't have to be a housewife, I could have a job and that.

Samina: That's right, a woman doesn't even have to perform the household chores, however the husband does have to fully provide for everything his wife needs. That leaves her to spend all the money she earns on whatever she wants.

Aliyah: You mean I can spend all my money on shoes and designer handbags, and my man's still got to spend his dough on me too? Wait till I tell Abz this, that tramp always makes me buy his chicken and chips, and he makes me top up his mobile, he's a real stingy dog.

Samina: Islam is fair for women.

Aliyah: OK then, if Islam is so fair to women and that, then why the hell are women always forced to marry someone they don't even know? Them forced marriages are always on the news. Even my mate  Seema was asking me ‘how can you sleep with someone that you don't even know', even though she's always sleeping with guys she don't know. She's such a…

Samina: Again Sis, you're mixing Islam with culture! Forced marriages have got NOTHING to do with Islam. There are some sick, ignorant people out there who don't know anything about their religion and use Islam to justify their views. However, this is a serious problem that is faced by women AND men in many different cultures all around the world.

Aliyah: OK then clever clogs, since your so clever and that, why don't you try telling me why the hell Islam orders women to cover up but not men? That's so unfair…men get it easy.

Samina: Women are ordered to cover up in Islam for their OWN protection. When a woman wears a hijab she isn't treated as a sex object, guys don't flirt with her, they keep their hands to themselves and they won't check her out.

Aliyah: But it still don't explain why the hell my older brother got away with dating that spotty girl with the tash from his class. Dad caught them in the park together and he didn't say jack! If that was me I would have been beaten up and married off to the first minger from back home!

Samina: In Islam the punishment for sin is equal. Both men AND women will be punished for their sins. So even if some parents are full of double standards, always remember that Allah treats everyone the same. Again, this is a cultural issue not Islam.

Aliyah: Girl, you know your stuff don't ya?

Samina: If you read up on Islam you'd also know this stuff and wouldn't have a problem with your Islamic identity. Some uneducated Muslim men might try to oppress us women, but Sis Islam doesn't oppress anybody.

Aliyah: Yeah... I get ya. I best go now.

Samina: Ok no worries, you gonna think about what I said?

Aliyah: Yeh I am, but there's no way I'm dressing like any of them ninjas or wearing a tent, well not yet though. I ain’t gonna link my baby tonight. You’ve talked me outta it. I’m gonna stand the boy up. It ain’t like he ain’t done the same to me a million times before…Oh crap! Is that my dad across the road?! I better leg it, he’d kill me if he catches me in this top!